“Responding to ‘The LGB is Tired of Y’all in the TIAXYZ’”

Dear DailyClout,

I am writing to such proclamations increasingly being made in our society. Here is a link to the original tweet that inspired my letter: https://x.com/catsscareme2021?s=43 

This is an unfortunate tweet in which the author grossly misunderstands who transgender and intersex people are. This is understandable at some level given the illogical and wreckless ideologies that are given such a dominant position in public discourse these days, but it is horribly misleading regarding implying that entire groups of people represented by letters in the LGBTQ acronym supposedly are responsible for what others who they have no connection with are doing.  

I hope that my response will lead to a productive dialog and help to prevent unnecessary, arbitrary, and capricious damage to the lives of transgender and intersex people in the future (to address those dangers more comprehensively will require another longer letter). For now, let’s discuss the main two letters of the LGBTQ acronym that are being referred to in this tweet. 

The T is transgender, which traditionally is supposed to only mean people who have a keen sense of gender identity that is not in alignment with the sex they were assigned at birth, one that never goes away during our entire life. We, who fall under this definition of transgender, almost never detransition, I know this because so many people I’ve known in my life are like this and not a single one has transitioned medically and socially and later detransitioned. We have much better lives and we relate to people better than we ever could in our assigned gender, for us trying to do that was incredibly stressful. I would ask Jessica what is it exactly that I and others like me have done to you? The answer is none of the things that Jessica is concerned about. The people that Jessica is talking about have nothing to do with me. Their definition of being trans seems to be quite different, and I frankly don’t even understand or agree with much of their ideology. But transgender people as defined above, just like gay people, have a true biological basis for our identities.

The I is intersex. Intersex people have biological conditions that mean they have both typically female and male external, internal, and neurological characteristics. Our reproductive systems are often abnormal. We can have XY chromosomes but be born with a vagina, and in some cases can give birth. This is a scientific fact (See, e.g., J Clin Endocrinol Metab. January 2008, 93(1):182–18). Or the opposite can occur with XX chromosomes. Or we can be XXY and have an endocrine system that is somewhere in between male and female norms. Or we can have one of many other medical conditions not associated with the “sex” chromosomes that cause us to be biologically intersex.

Many of us are both transgender and intersex. We want to be free to live our own lives and have body autonomy and medical freedom as much as anyone else. Unfortunately, we can’t help the fact that we have had this condition all of our lives and we cannot undo being like this until we are 18. We don’t have to be recruited or taught this, it comes from deep inside us.

Jessica says that (I am slightly paraphrasing): People like you, the TIA, are responsible for the gender ideology and gender transitioning of children. The world is accepting of the LGB and even some of the T as long as you want to mind your own business as an adult [End paraphrase]. Thank you, Jessica, for allowing some of us to be accepted as long as we mind our own business whatever exactly that means. While I am certainly not in favor of indoctrinating children, I do have to say that we did exist as transgender or intersex individuals before we were 18. I know I agree with a priority on parental rights for decisions about our children over a wide spectrum, most certainly including medical decisions for them. I do not know anyone in my life (I am only speaking personally) that wants to evangelize others to be transgender or intersex. One either has these conditions or they do not, and far more people don’t than do.  At least in my experience, not one of us would want to try to make cisgender people trans or non-intersex people intersex (By the way, cisgender is a defined term and not a slur except to those who are in the habit of routinely using transgender and all of its derogatory variations as a slur. I can see why those people would think cisgender is also a slur.) 

Jessica also speaks of cross-dressers (presumably gay drag queens) as being our representatives. How is a cross-dressing gay man drag queen who does not meet any of the criteria of being transgender (and whose life-experience I have nothing in common with) partially exposing themselves to children taken to be representative of me and therefore be my responsibility, as Jessica claims? I will also say that people behaving so badly should not also be taken to be representative of gay men, or of all gay men who like to cross-dress. 

Contrary to the impression left by Jessica and others who don’t know that they know us in their lives, most transgender people (using the definition above) go about life fully integrated in society and we are successful in all walks of life. We do not seek to advertise our status with respect to being trans and we interact in all of society as men and women of our gender identity the same as any cisgender person does.

Promulgating such stereotypes about us is grossly misleading and is fostering a massive level of discriminatory legislation seeking to force us to go back to interacting in society only as our sex assigned at birth. And this is not just for those of us under eighteen. As an example, take this Odessa, TX law recently passed:

https://www.texastribune.org/2024/10/23/odessa-texas-transgender-bathroom-ban/

Jessicas’s message, the way it is currently crafted, is not overall a helpful one. She rightly identifies that there are crazy people trying to break our society apart, but assigning blame for the actions of the people she mentions to entire groups of people who have no relationship with these types of activists is wrong, and doing so can foment misplaced fears and itself tragically divide us against each other. Fundamentally, Jessica misunderstands who transgender and intersex people are. I hope my response will help us all understand each other a little better. I would ask that we each think more carefully about our social and political responses in this arena. Going forward, let us make a concerted effort to avoid the collateral damage that is being done to innocent people who want to live our own lives with the same basic human freedoms as you do, and are not the ones trying to traumatize children and split up families.

– Anonymous

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