“Blurring the Lines Between Men and Women is Dangerous”

Dear DailyClout,

I am a woman. If I am walking down the street and I encounter a man I don’t know, I don’t care whether he’s white, black, brown, tall, short, young, or old, I will not trust him. Instinctively. I don’t know who he is or what he wants or if he will hurt me. My instinctive response is always going to be to not trust him.  It’s not personal.  It is my primal instinct.  It keeps me alive.  Literally.

If I see a woman, I will smile at her. Instinctively.

Now, if a man is an employee working at the grocery store, I’m going to assume some level of vetting has been taken that he is not a serial killer. I also don’t have to wonder why he’s there. I will smile at him.  I would be perfectly polite towards him.

But every other man in that store? They could have followed me in that store. They could be serial killers. I’m not interested in being nice to them. This isn’t because I’m a jerk, it’s because it’s vital to my survival.

The instinct for women to not trust men they don’t know, and the tendency for women to trust other women, are involuntary responses. It is a survival instinct. If you’ve never been a woman, out in the world, you have no idea what this experience feels like.

This is why blurring the lines between men and women is dangerous. Forcing women to instinctively trust a man as if he’s a woman is dangerous. You’re asking women to do something that goes against their survival instinct, something that they KNOW will cause harm to themselves or other women.  We are being forced to trust ALL men. CAN we trust ALL men?  Are women adequately safe from men in this world?  No.  No, we’re not.  Not at all.

The entire purpose of having private spaces versus public spaces is for the safety of the vulnerable.  It’s why they exist.

You can be any kind of man you want.  If you are a man who acts more feminine, who relates more with the feminine side of the world – most women will welcome you into their culture. If you’re a man and you want plastic surgery, that’s your choice.

You can be any kind of man you want.  But you can’t be a woman. You can’t come into our spaces. You have to respect our vulnerability as women. Maybe someday, all women will be safe from all men and we can freely share bathrooms. But until then, we require that safety barrier. We welcome you to join us and our feminine culture, as long as you remember that you’re still a man. And we love that you are a man.  Even if you have earned the trust of a few women, there are women out there in public that don’t know you and don’t trust you and they shouldn’t be forced to.

Until all women are safe from all men, we reserve the right not to trust men blindly.

Sincerely,

Jill Adkins